Poems from the NICU.

wide eyes search me
smile right at me
alive and awake
from the deepest of sleeps.

she grasps my finger
and all within me
falls back together
even now, it is well.

my every move and word is watched
by this little human life.
I steel my resolve,
tell her “be strong”
even now, she learns to hold on.

new moms and dads
in line at the door
carseats full.
balloons galore.
they’re homeward bound
but I watch from afar
while monitors beep
and tearful prayers fall
over my smallest, strongest one.

the day is ending
her fight is not.
our goodnight song carries her off.
I whisper to her “it will all be fine”
as I turn and leave my heart behind

in a room we did not build for her
in a bed we did not plan.
with machines that breathe & live for her
as she no longer can.

I can feel her every second of the day.
she’s stronger than I’ll ever be
she’s beauty, bright, and brave.

I’ve never believed or hoped so hard
or walked in such deep faith
as when my warrior’s story
was written in this way.

words from the very mouth of God
are spoken night and day
so she will know her Maker
and firmly stand to say
that she is no accident,
that this was no mistake.

Blue eyed fighter
home is waiting
sleep within my arms.
Live to tell the story of
the purpose in your scars.

 

{Ansley Allen. 2014.}

Postpartum Depression: Best Resources & Tools

There were TONS of people who asked for some of my favorite resources on PPD/PPA, so I decided to make it a public post so that it could be shared and saved by anyone who needs it.

This amazing hooded top is from my favorite online shop. You can shop the Women’s section here.

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Postpartum Depression: Warning Signs

I finally shared a lot of my journey with Postpartum Depression, anxiety, and psychosis during an Instagram Live discussion this week. After the chat was over, I got flooded with messages from other moms who wanted access to my list of resources, my list of warning signs to watch for, and my list of Scriptures to use for prayer and for fighting lies with truth. So I figured I would actually post all of that on the blog as well so anyone could download it and save it.

So here is a graphic I whipped up for the warning signs that you or someone you love may be dealing with PPD or PPA.

Keep in mind, these are only some of the main things to look for, there are MANY different ways PPD and anxiety can present, and every woman is different. These are just the things I personally felt like were my main warning signs. 

I used Postpartum Support International as a source. When making this graphic, I used Canva.

Saturday Style

This past Saturday we had a full day of activities and fun because it was my mom’s birthday, my grandmother was in town, AND we officially reached 37 weeks and can have this baby anytime he’s ready! I’m not getting my hopes up though, because according to my doctor, he is looking real comfortable in there and not trying to make anything happen soon 🙄 total eye roll, but whatever, I want to give all the time he needs! (Silently screaming inside lol.)  Continue reading

making some new habits.

Going through pregnancy with a toddler in tow feels a lot like you’re drowning. And someone hands you a small drunk person. Don’t get me wrong! Toddlers are fun as crap, hilarious, and so sweet. At least mine is. But she can also be super moody and irrational, she’s learning how to use her free will, and she moves way faster than I can keep up with a lot of days. Ya know, the normal toddler-hood stuff! And adding a pregnancy on top of it is surely a challenge no matter who you are. A HUGE blessing, but a challenge.

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HAPPY BLOG LAUNCH DAY!!!!

AHHH!

I’ve been working on this blog idea for the past few weeks, and while it all came together at lightning speed, these posts and all of the stories you’ll see posted already, have been written in my journals for quite some time. I just finally decided to pull the trigger and to share them here. I have put it off for so long.

look how happy we are!
look how happy we are!

Please read the About and My Story pages to hear how I got here, and to hear my hopes and prayers for this blog. I genuinely cannot wait to share motherhood, wife-hood [HUH], my new music [HUH! YEP], and all the randomness in between. Maybe even some feeding tube stuff for all you peeps who also walk that road!

I can’t wait to hear feedback, get to know all of you, and to just hear your life stories and experiences too!

 

Special thank you to:

Timmy Allen: my main squeeze. He set this junk up so beautifully and quickly! He taught me countless new things, encouraged me, inspired me…celebrated me. Ugh…a gem.

Ashton Bynum: She is an incredible designer from Dallas, Texas, and she is responsible for the beautiful logo up top! She has a blog with all of her gorgeous handmade creations, and you can contact her for inquiries here: ashtonbynum0@gmail.com

A handful of my friends who previewed this blog and gave me feedback! Y’all are my MVPS. You know.

Lindsey Grace Whiddon: an incredible person that I’m only beginning to scratch the surface of friendship with! She is an insane photographer based in Nashville. She did our family portraits and many other new projects that I can’t share quite yet 🙂

 

XOXO. Welcome. Hi.

Comment below and tell me about yourself and tell me what you would love to read!