Nothing is wasted.

If you had told me 10 years ago when I was sitting in an eating disorder recovery center that I would one day be a recovered mother of two, I would have laughed in your face. I was so far from God and from myself that I was a shell of a person. I remember not being able to finish sentences without losing my thoughts. I was addicted to the control my eating disorder gave me. I was angry. I was depressed and lying to every person in my life about my real struggle.

But God. He moved my parents to do the bravest and scariest thing by sending me to Remuda Ranch for treatment. Their courage changed the path I was on, saved my life, and showed me how RELENTLESS and steadfast Christ is for me. I will never forget their decision and I will use that same decision making for my own children. I will fight for them the way my parents fought for me at this time in my life.

You never really see what your struggle’s purpose is when you’re in the midst of it. I know I didn’t. And I’m not here to tell you that every single bad thing has some specific future purpose to it. Although God is a God of purpose-making, a God who wastes NOTHING.

So the fact that I now parent a daughter who is tube-fed and struggles with swallowing/eating is no coincidence to me. And baby Owen is in that same category as he struggles with the same swallowing disorder Quinn has. I know that I am their mama for many reasons! But this is one big reason that I just know I was chosen for them and them for me.

We may not understand they “whys” but we can always understand the “who.” And that’s Jesus Christ the savior of all the world. The Savior who parents ME with love. We may never understand the “reasons” behind things. But we don’t need REASON when we have REDEMPTION.

Y’all. Contact me. Tell me your story.

Never give up.

One thought on “Nothing is wasted.

  1. Ansley: I’m so proud of you sweetie and the hard work you put in to work thru this. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years. Keeping your focus and eyes on God always helps lighten any struggle. Like you said, it won’t make them go away – just easier to carry. Love you!

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