Returning to School as a Mama

Okay, well obviously I SUCK at this “consistent” blog thing haha! I’m annoyed with myself for neglecting it, but I returned to school this semester for the first time in 4 years!!!! It has been so exciting and it has been stretching me in the best ways. These past few months have been mostly figuring out the balance between school, studying, family, etc, and I didn’t even have a full time schedule this time around. Yikes.

Adulting….why. I remember being maybe 13 and thinking that 24 year olds were so old and had it all together and could do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted (LOL to the little girl who didn’t know bills were a thing). And now most days I’m looking around myself like “hi everyone, good to see ya, but where’s my adult….? Are you my adult, sir?”
70c57e81ed7ef347f4a23cfcefdbc3bfI kid. But on a real note, here are only a few things that I’ve been dwelling on during my first semester back to school. All of these are just some of what God has been speaking to me, and I just felt like sharing in case anyone else was in the same place as me! So if you resonate with any of these in your own busy, multi-responsibility-filled life, I’d love to hear how  you keep yourself sane and healthy. 🙂

  • Regret is paralyzing. This. I dropped out of college after earning an associates degree in…something. I pursued majors that I thought I was in love with that it turned out I was not. I was discouraged and had no clue what to study or what I wanted to do (except for music and leading worship which are always going to be part of me, but not full time) so I ended up just stopping after the second year to work random jobs. Until about a year ago, I couldn’t get myself back on track and I struggled with all kinds of guilt and frustration about it. BUT regret only keeps you from moving forward. There is literally not one thing we can do about what we did or did not do in the past. And I choose to believe that all of my past mistakes and regrets are redeemed and being used by God in my present to make me a better future. But that takes participation on my part as well, trust in Him, belief in myself, etc etc with those things. So….regret is for the birds peeps. Leave it in the past, pick up where you are now, and decide how you can joyfully move forward with purpose.
  • Self care can’t be put on the back-burner. I have been awful about exercising, eating healthy, napping, showering (no judging me people), getting time with friends in, you name it. I have not  made my personal health a priority this semester, and my body knows it and hasn’t been pleased haha! I wanted to remind all of you reading this (all 3 of you probably, hey mom whats up) that your family DOES come first, but to be the best mom/dad/wife/friend to them that you can be, YOU have to be healthy, strong, and taken care of. I’m absolutely useless to Quinn if I’m dragging butt and in a horrible mood due to lack of sleep. I’m not fun or enjoyable when I’m unhappy with my food choices and have no strength or energy from lack of exercising. I can easily slip into depression when I feel like I’m simply in “survival mode.” I convince myself, “I don’t have time to do all of those things!” But the reality is, if I would take even just 30 minutes a day and choose one thing to do for myself to keep me healthy and feeling good, I’d probably be FAR more capable of accomplishing everything else. And not being a brat about it 😉
  • Don’t do it alone. I find it hard to ask for help, to admit I need someone to talk to, or to delegate things to someone else. I hate that feeling…what is it….PRIDE. Community was given to us for a reason, obviously….but I struggle with anxiety and fear sometimes, so I end up just keeping to myself. But seriously? That’s so lame! How much rich relationship do we rob ourselves of when we act like hermits, get inside our own heads, and put up walls? I’m challenging that in myself.  Breaking that pattern and being intentional with the friendships I have, making new ones, and building community up. We are just now finding a church also, which is a big part of that to me.
  • “God’s will” is actually already spelled out for us. Our pastor Pete Wilson talked about this a week or two ago and it was so spot on and such a good reminder for me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “Well I’m asking and praying for God to show me His will!” or “I’m just waiting on God to direct me” and I’ve heard countless other people say things like that too when they are going about decision making and just living their lives. Even in the church, from the stage, I’ve heard pastors say it. And I think it’s well-meant. But it’s silly. We already know what His will for us is! He told us. In the Bible. Like….DUH. It’s not some secret, and if I had just aligned myself with the things God had already spelled out for me during the stages of my life, I would have experienced peace, direction, and JOY far beyond what I ever felt when I was “just waiting.”Below are the verses…hang them up somewhere. Remember that God works all things for the good of those who love Him, and if you’re still facing decisions and trying to figure out some things, first know that God has placed a passion and purpose on your heart for a reason! DO WHAT YOU FEEL CALLED TO DO. And do it within the will of God, which is spelled out in the verses below (and many others that I didn’t write here). Oh! And I love this “best question ever” from an Andy Stanley message that my mentor Sami once shared with me when I was younger:

    “In light of my past experience, my present circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7: “It is God’s will that you be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who does not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him….For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man, but God…”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Be joyful always: pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances, for THIS is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

-Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Micah 6:8: “He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord ask of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Mark 12:30-31: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second [greatest command] is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

-Romans 12:2: “Do not conform any longer to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

12 thoughts on “Returning to School as a Mama

  1. It is literally like you are speaking everything that I have been processing and wrestling with the past year. Your words are encouraging, real and true. Thank You for writing this!

    1. It makes my entire day knowing that someone read this and that it resonated with them. THANK you for reading and for letting me know that it meant something!! <3

  2. Good stuff… Yeah, so you’re an adult because you’re over 18. Whatever. You’re growing… And it looks good on you. Wisdom is obtained when you’ve gained knowledge and then learned how to apply it your life… Do you remember my saying. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is actually a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to use it in a fruit salad.” But seriously… Your scriptures are spot on, and the ultimate source of knowledge is found in reading Gods word… Then allowing Him personally to guide your steps and how it fits right in to your life, right where you need it. How applicable. Wouldn’t that be like God?

    I see from a healthy reflection you wish you kept your studies up. I say that because it’s apparent you feel happy and so productive now that you’re back in school. However, there’s always a need for balance. Try not to compare your years/life to others… Your walk, your stride… Whatever pace that you’re at… Let that be independent of expectation and comparison to others. You only need to know that you’re walking in the Light. He is using you to impact others even while you grow. I love it. Thanks for being obedient and sharing your heart. It blessed my day… I know it’s going to bless many more.

  3. Out of the mouth of babes… Keep at it girl. So proud and also thankful my son and grand daughter are in suc capable and anointed hands. Love you

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