wide eyes search me
smile right at me
alive and awake
from the deepest of sleeps.

she grasps my finger
and all within me
falls back together
even now, it is well.

my every move and word is watched
by this little human life.
I steel my resolve,
tell her “be strong”
even now, she learns to hold on.

new moms and dads
in line at the door
carseats full.
balloons galore.
they’re homeward bound
but I watch from afar
while monitors beep
and tearful prayers fall
over my smallest, strongest one.

the day is ending
her fight is not.
our goodnight song carries her off.
I whisper to her “it will all be fine”
as I turn and leave my heart behind

in a room we did not build for her
in a bed we did not plan.
with machines that breathe & live for her
as she no longer can.

I can feel her every second of the day.
she’s stronger than I’ll ever be
she’s beauty, bright, and brave.

I’ve never believed or hoped so hard
or walked in such deep faith
as when my warrior’s story
was written in this way.

words from the very mouth of God
are spoken night and day
so she will know her Maker
and firmly stand to say
that she is no accident,
that this was no mistake.

Blue eyed fighter
home is waiting
sleep within my arms.
Live to tell the story of
the purpose in your scars.

 

{Ansley Allen. 2014.}